What Losing Everything Taught Me About Happiness, Health & Redefining Success

When I walked away from my marriage, I walked away from life as I knew it.

It was a choice—stay and be desperately unhappy but keep the structure of my life intact, or leave everything behind and give myself the chance to find happiness. There were no other options left to me.

Leaving meant restarting my life at 40 with nothing but my two little girls, a handful of possessions (I had sold anything valuable to pay the bills), and a completely unknown future. I lost my home, financial stability, lifestyle—and many friendships along the way.

I also lost my sense of direction.

I had left my marketing career four years prior to raise my children, retraining as an interior designer to pursue a passion. But life didn’t go as planned. Instead of building my dream, I found myself uncertain and struggling to navigate an entirely new reality.

Going from a successful, well-off woman to a single mother facing extreme financial hardship was overwhelming. I had nothing—not just materially, but emotionally. Every day was a challenge to keep going. Parenting my children through it all only intensified the pressure; I had no roadmap, no certainty, and no idea if I was getting anything right.

For nearly seven years, I lived hand to mouth, never knowing how I would pay the bills. Every purchase—even a coffee—felt like a luxury. I watched my peers thrive in their careers while I barely scraped by. It was relentless. The weight of it all was exhausting, testing my resilience in ways I never imagined.

I put on a brave face. I withdrew from friends and family, unable to keep up financially, ashamed of my circumstances. I felt like an outsider in my own life. The pressure, the hamster wheel, the relentless struggle—it wore me down. At times, I felt utterly lost, but my daughters kept me tethered. I had no choice but to keep going.

Through this journey, I learned the most profound lesson:

We don’t actually need much beyond our basic physiological needs. The challenge lies in accepting where we are while still allowing ourselves to dream and desire. I wrestled with this. I wanted to embrace my new reality, but I couldn’t silence the part of me that longed for more.

Bit by bit, I started listening to myself. Not the external voices, not the expectations, but my own internal truth. I had tried every healing modality, read every self-help book, practiced toxic positivity to an exhausting degree—but nothing worked. A psychic once told me I would find happiness at 43, but when that birthday came and went without change, I felt cheated.

It wasn’t until I began questioning my own self-perception—challenging the “failure” label I had placed on myself—that I truly started to shift.

We can’t go against our nature.

External circumstances don’t define us; who we are at our core remains unchanged. The moment I accepted this, I realized I had the power to redefine my life. I simply had to decide who I wanted to be and start embodying that person.

By the time the pandemic hit, I had already streamlined my life to the bare essentials. My expenses were minimal, allowing me breathing space to pursue fulfillment rather than obligation. For many, lockdown was a nightmare—for me, it was a gift. It erased my FOMO and gave me the respite I so desperately needed. That pause allowed me to regroup, reassess, and realign with the life I truly wanted to create.

For the first time in years, I felt like myself again. Challenges still came—financial struggles, career shifts, parenting dilemmas, co-parenting conflicts, health crises, and loss—but I faced them with a newfound resilience. Each obstacle was another level in the game of life, making me stronger, more capable, more certain of my path.

The harder the challenge, the greater the growth.

This contrast—the deep lows and the soaring highs—is life’s greatest teacher. Losing everything gave me the ability to appreciate everything. It’s just the flip side of the same coin. Without darkness, we can’t recognize the light.

So, what’s the meaning of life? The answer is deeply personal. It’s whatever meaning you choose to give it. Your intuition, your inner voice, is your guide. If you ignore it, life will keep throwing obstacles your way until you finally listen.

That’s what happened to me.

I had to lose everything to find myself.

And in finding myself, I uncovered the foundation for a new way of living—one that I now use in my work as a life stylist. It’s not about following a rigid formula, but about cultivating the ability to listen to yourself, trust your instincts, and shape a life aligned with your truth.

It wasn’t easy, and I wouldn’t wish my struggles on anyone. But I also wouldn’t change them. Because through my lowest lows, I uncovered possibilities I had never imagined. The pain became a springboard, launching me toward a future more aligned with my true self than I ever could have planned.

If there’s one takeaway from my story, let it be this:

You have the power to redefine your life at any moment.

Make it a f*cking good one.

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